


Not All Lost

by Katz92



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-22
Updated: 2014-09-22
Packaged: 2018-02-18 10:37:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2345348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katz92/pseuds/Katz92
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When it comes time for Justice to return Kristoff's body to Aura, he is going to need some help getting the answers he needs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not All Lost

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Just Barely](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/74675) by Epsifawnshawn. 



The Howe boy was odd to Justice. Kristoff had vague memories of what Howe’s father had done to the Commander’s family, and he found it stranger still that she did not seek anything from the boy. But that wasn’t what fully struck him as odd. Considering he was found thieving from the dungeons, after joining the Wardens he seemed to find a sense of justice. He tried to hide it, but could not from a sprit that embodied the virtue.

“Nathaniel.” Justice called to the man from across the campfire, who then stood to join him on the other side.

“Something I could help you with, Justice?”

“I have been thinking on some of the conversations we have been having.”

“You will have to be more specific, Justice.”

“On changing bodies. I have met with Aura several times now, and decided that it is not fair to her to deprive her of a body to mourn. Once we have finished with this darkspawn problem, I intend to return it to her. However, this leaves me without a vessel.”

“So you figured out how to leave the vessel you’re in?”

“I need to research that as well. I seek your help. And since she is at Vigil’s Keep more than myself, I would like to ask Aura’s help as well.”

Nathaniel paused before replying. "It's probably one of the oddest requests I've gotten, but I would be happy to help you, Justice. I must say, I'm impressed that you've come to this conclusion yourself."

"I seek to ensure justice is done in this world. It would be wrong to prevent it from happening to suit my needs. And as you have said, this body will decay and i will be trapped in a skeleton."

He chuckled. "We'll get started upon returning to the Keep, then."

~~~

"Nathaniel this is a strange request." Aura stated, staring at the man across her table. "Why didn't Justice ask me himself?"

"His ability to relate to most people has not improved much since you last spoke with him. He did not wish to frighten or alarm you. Or say something to offend."

"He truly wants to give Kristoff's body back?" She tried to hide her shock—the last few conversations she had held with the spirit possessing her husband had not gone as smoothly as she would have hoped.

"Yes. He would do it immediately, but the Commander has need of him and his knowledge of the Fade." He had to resist holding his breath for a biting remark—it was all they ever seemed to get from her on the subject of her husband’s body, but no one commented on it. The Wardens figured that she deserved her anger and frustration toward the situation.

She sighed. "Kristoff would want that--I see that now. He would want to be useful to the Wardens in death. If you can show me to the library, Nathaniel, I would happily start searching for you both."

Nathaniel was surprised at her response. He had to collect himself before saying, "There is one other thing. I still need to speak to the Commander about it. I do not think she will be against it, but before you can search I need to speak with her."

"Let me know, then. You also have not told me exactly what to be looking for."

"He seeks to leave your husband's body and inhabit another. He would prefer it be another dead body, perhaps one that has fewer attachments."

"That is an odd request."

"He doesn't know if he can return to the fade or exist in this world with no host."

"What about a willing, living host?"

"A last resort, I would think. Who knows what might come of that."

"Very well, Nathaniel. Alert me once the Commander has given her permission and I will begin. I do not know what all this library has on slightly-forbidden magic, but libraries are rarely cleaned out of illegal books and we may find something of use here."

“Thank you, Aura. We am grateful to have your help with this. The Commander requires our presence on some of the missions and we will be unable to be continually doing research on the matter. But Justice does not want to keep your husband away from you any longer than necessary. It was an unfortunate thing to have happen, but I hope that you will understand his willingness to give it back to you now.”

“I do, Nathaniel. I appreciate you speaking with me about this.”

“It was my pleasure.”

~~

"It's about time you asked me about this, Nathaniel." Commander Cousland drummed her fingers on her desk. "I've known Justice would be seeking to leave Kristoff's body for some time now. But I didn't want to meddle so I've held my tongue."

"I take it you have an opinion on the matter then?" Nathaniel braced himself for the reprimand.

"I do." She paused before saying. "He's right that he needs to give Kristoff's body back to Aura. She deserves the chance to mourn him properly, and it is hard to mourn when you have no physical thing to mourn over. Seeing her husband’s body walking around, talking like him, even acting like him…it must be terrible for her. I can’t even imagine what that would be like.” The Commander looked lost in her thoughts and memories for a minute before shaking herself out of it. “I have a few books I can point you all towards, and I've had word sent to the merchants I left at Soldier's Peak to see if there is anything useful there."

Nathaniel blinked, surprised. "Thank you?"

"Why so surprised, Nate?" She teased. "I have a heart you know. If I was in Aura's shoes I would want my husbands body back. And I think having her assist you both will be good. I don't have to worry about leaving one of you behind to work on this, and she'll be safer if we can talk her into staying at the Keep for a bit."

"You worry about her safety?"

"I am currently just trusting my gut. It could be nothing, but it could save her life. I would rather be safe than sorry."

"Me as well."

"Is that all, Nathaniel?"

"It is, Commander."

"Alright. I will see you at court later tonight then."

~~

"There's nothing in this one either." Aura sighed, shutting the tome and pushing it away. "I swear, there is not going to be a single thing in this blasted library to help us!"

"Aura, you're up late." Nathaniel limped into the library. Spying the table she was spread out at, he continued to her and stopped by a chair, slumping into it gracelessly with a soft groan.

"I didn't know you were coming back tonight." Aura started to do one last scan of the book that was in front of her before placing it in a pile that needed to be placed back on the shelves.

"Anders got hurt, so the Commander pushed us to come back tonight." He shifted, biting back a hiss. “Having a healer has spoiled me for life, that is certain.”

"You don't look in the best shape yourself." She had noticed the limp instantly, but when he moved she saw bandages poke out from the hem of his shirt.  
Nathaniel shrugged. "Took an arrow while taking out the guy shooting at Anders. He got a quick heal off before passing out but it still hurts."

"I imagine. Can I get you anything?"

"If that's wine you have I would take a cup."

Nodding, Aura poured him a cup.

"So little luck with your research?"

"Yes. I've gone through the books Justice found and started on your pile. I've bookmarked a few promising things, but so far it has only lead to other books that the writer thought would be promising. I am keeping a list of them, and will track them down once my list is finished."

"Has the Commanders messenger to Soldier's Peak returned?"

"He's due any day now. The letter sent ahead said that Avernus had a few things we might find useful, and if he had any insight to what we may need to do that we would welcome it."

"From what I hear, he is our best bet in knowing where to begin looking, instead of sifting through piles and piles of books." He had grabbed a smaller book and was surveying the contents.

"I appreciate your help, Nathaniel. Truly I do.” She smiled at him, taking the book from his hand. “But you should go get some rest."

"Very well." He eased himself out of the chair with a groan. "What time do you usually arrive in the library?"

"After breakfast."

"Care if I join you tomorrow? The Commander will hang me if she sees me in the training yard and I would like to be useful."

"It would be nice to have some company in here and I appreciate the offer."

"Good. I've been trying to remember something ever since we decided to look into this and I finally remembered the other night on the road."

Aura raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And what is that?"

"You'll have to wait until tomorrow. It is a secret I have kept dearly since childhood." Grinning, he limped out of the library to Aura's sigh and dramatic eye roll.

The next morning, Nathaniel, Justice and Aura were in the far corner of the library, inspecting one of the large corner pillars there. Nathaniel had just been grinning as the other two stared.

“I do not understand what you are trying to show us, Howe.” Justice questioned, running a hand along the smooth stone. “This appears to just be a pillar.”

Aura stepped next to him, doing the same thing. “I have to agree with him, Nathaniel. This looks like an ordinary pillar to me as well. It seems far too fanciful for there to be a secret passage here.”

“Oh but there is.” He moved a couple of dusty books from an adjacent shelf and stuck his hand into a small gap they revealed. “I found this by accident when I was just a boy. I was gone for hours the first time, wandering the tunnels that are about to be revealed.” He found the small switch and activated it, causing the stone to move on a series of pulleys to reveal a set of stairs. “My mother I believe was the only one that new about them. I would hide from my lessons, go exploring, anything to get me out of my regular duties.”

“I don’t understand what this has to do with our objective.” Aura was poking her head into the tunnel, investigating.

“One of these passages leads to an old storeroom full of scrolls written in a language that I did not recognize as a child. Now I know it to be the language of the Avvar. I am hoping that there are scrolls about some of their magic here that we may use. There is enough about the Avvar in the library that we should be able to translate what we need.”

Aura smiled back at him. “What are we waiting for? Let us go see what we can find.” She grabbed a nearby candle and started to lead the way.

“Wait!” Justice called out to her, causing her to pause in the entryway. “Howe, when you were a child were there any traps?”

“I never went far into the rooms. The halls are safe, but I cannot speak for anything else.” He replied, catching on to Justice's warning. 

“Then allow me to lead, my lady. I do not wish to see harm come to you.”

Aura paused before saying, “Very well. Would you like the candle?” She held the light out to him.

“I will be fine without it.” Justice ducked into the tunnel and began the slow decent.

“After you, Aura.” Nathaniel stated, gesturing for her to walk on.

“Thank you.” Holding the candle high, she followed Justice into the passageway.

“Howe, what am I looking for?”

“Any doors that have a quill etched into them hold scrolls. I know little of their organization.”

“Very well.”

After a few minutes they found a door with the rough sketch of a scroll on the wooden door. It took Justice and Nathaniel pushing against it for the door to give and groan open. The room wasn't much taller than the average man, with low racks containing piles of scrolls lining the walls and small table with two chairs in the middle. 

"When do you think someone was in here last?" Aura questioned, following Justice into the room. 

"Decades. Maybe even a few hundred years. My family has lived in Vigil's Keep for generations, and if one of them knew of it I'm sure my family would have exploited it." Nathaniel replied, inspecting an old torch. "Aura, can you use the candle to light these?"

"Of course." She went around the room, lighting the other candles. Setting her candle on the table, she said, "where do we begin?"

~~

"Have you found anything yet, Justice?" The Commander asked a few days later from across the campfire. 

"One of the Avvar scrolls looks promising, as does one of Avernus' books." He replied. "Nathaniel and Aura are looking into it--thank you for leaving him behind."

"Sigrun is perfectly capable for getting us into locked things. I know this is important, and I needed you to come back to Blackmarsh with me, so Nathaniel needed to stay."

"I am not good at deciphering the texts that they have so it makes more sense for it to be them that stay and work on it."

"Have you had any luck in finding a host?"

"No. And from what Nathaniel and Aura have found, it will have to be a living, willing host."

"What?!"

"How I got into Kristoff's body will remain a mystery. But to leave it and stay in this world, I will need a living host."

"So if we just kicked you out of his body, would you return to the Fade?"

"I do not know what would become of me. I have little desire to leave this world when there is still so much injustice in the world. The plight of the mages, for example. How humanity is not disgusted with itself for how they treat them is beyond me. Like caged animals, the mages are."

"Someday the animal will break free. The world will rue that day." The Commander sighed. "Safe watch, Justice. Wake Anders in a few hours."

"Very well."

Neither knew that Anders had lain awake, overhearing their entire conversation.

~~

"You figured it out then?" Justice asked in response to the odd smiles Aura and Nathaniel wore. 

"Yes and no. We found a spell that will separate a spirit from a body. It kills the body, which is not the issue. This issue is that it will go into whatever mage casts the spell, willingly turning them into an abomination." Nathaniel explained. 

"Possessed I think would be a better word, Nathaniel." Aura chided. "Justice is no demon of the Fade so I do not think we are speaking of a true abomination."

"Not at first. But inhabiting a body that still has it's own soul and consciousness? Isn't there a chance that the host's will and thoughts change Justice?" Nathaniel countered. 

"There are many forms of Justice, Nathaniel. Perhaps the time has come for me to be a different kind of Justice." The spirit stated. 

Nathaniel sighed. "We still would have to find a Mage willing to cast the spell and be possessed."

"I believe I can help with that." From the entryway of the Library, Anders stood with his arms crossed. "I overheard Justice and the Commander speaking the other night at camp." He walked into the room and stopped across from them. "If you truly wish to take interest in the Mage's cause, Justice, I will willing be your host."

"If that is your only reason, Anders, I do not want to force you." Justice stated, locking eyes with the man. 

"You are also a friend, although an odd one. We both seek Justice. We both know that it often has a price. And it is one I am willing to pay if my fellow mages will be free."

Justice kept a level gaze on the man. "If you understand the risk, Anders, then very well. I will join with you."

"When shall we do this then?" Aura questioned. 

"The Commander has need of me a bit longer, Aura." Justice replied. "I cannot leave this body until my obligations to her are fulfilled."

"And I will need time to understand the spell. A few weeks, at least, for something this complicated." Anders was already flicking through the spell, attempting to understand it.

Aura sighed. "I have waited this long. I suppose I will have to wait a little longer."

"Thank you, Aura, for your understanding. I promise I will not be in your husband's body any longer than necessary."

"I know, Justice. Thank you."

~~

"You're not going to tell her?!" Nathaniel hissed, following Anders into a dungeon cell he had prepared for the spell. 

"If I didn't need someone to make sure I didn't crack my head open when I go unconscious, I wouldn't have told you! Further reading showed me that, while the spirit generally goes into the caster, anyone near me when I cast it is susceptible to getting possessed. I don't want that happening to her."

"Oh, but I'm okay?!"

"I don't think you'll be at risk. He has many of Kristoff's memories, and when he's released I was afraid he would be drawn to her instead."

"Where is Justice?"

"...Waiting by Aura's."

"What?!"

"I could not dissuade him. I tried, truly I did. But I could not have her here, he wanted to bring the body to her. At the top of the hour, I will begin. Two minutes later, he will knock, and that is precisely when I will be finished and he will be pulled out of Kristoff's body and into mine."

"If this spell even works."

"Yes, if this spell even works." They reached the room and Anders sighed. "Pray to the Maker it does."

"I do not know if praying to the Maker about becoming possessed is a wise choice of action."

"Depends on how you view the Maker. Help me light these candles, and then stand in the doorway." Anders told him, making his own preparations. 

By the time Nathaniel had finished the candles, Anders was standing to one side of a circle on the floor, an open book in his hand. "Justice as a spirit will appear. Once he does, do not cross into the room, Nathaniel. Understand?"

"Yes. Anders, just get on with it!" 

Anders took a steadying breath before quietly reciting something under his breath. The air began to hum with magic as his chanting went on. 

Outside, Justice stood in front of Aura's home. He began to feel the tug on his spirit, as Anders said he would, and he knocked on the wooden door. 

"Yes, who is it?!" Aura opened the and smiled a little. "Justice? What can I do for you?"

"Nothing, Aura." He gave into the tug, leaving Kristoff's body in front of her. 

"Justice!" She caught the body as it fell, but was unable see Justice as he left. 

Back in the dungeon, Nathaniel watched a wind pick up and swirl around Anders. As it died down, a familiar figure appeared across from the Mage--Justice, as he had appeared in the Fade when they first met him. He saw Anders' mouth move, but could not hear what he said. There was a sudden snap in the magic and everything paused as the pair walked towards each other and merged. A flash of light blinded Nathaniel, and when his sight returned, Anders was in a heap on the floor and the candles were out. 

Nathaniel stepped up to him and heaved the man over his shoulder. "You better not be dead, Anders." He grumbled, heading out of the dungeon and back to the surface. 

At the top of the stairs was the Commander. "I assume it worked?" She gestured to the unconscious Anders. 

"He's not dead if that's what you mean." 

"Let me give you a hand." The moved the Mage so that both could carry him to his rooms. "Varel is getting Aura and Kristoff here. We've made arrangements for the funeral to be tomorrow."

"You're ready so soon?"

"Trust me--there is nothing I do not know that goes on in this Keep."

~~

The funeral was quiet--just Aura and the Wardens that had recently joined. No pomp and circumstance. No one said anything either. They hadn't known Kristoff, only seen his face. They had nothing to say about the man, and Aura was fine with that. There was nothing for her to say either. His reputation would have said it all to these people. So she stared quietly as they fire consumed her husband as she stood between the Commander and Nathaniel. 

"Thank you for this, Nathaniel. It means a lot. I wish Anders was here for me to thank as well." She murmured. 

"Unfortunately, still unconscious." It was a lie--Anders was fully awake, but he was struggling to keep himself and Justice fully separate. For his own good, he was locked up in his rooms with a guard. "He should be up and around in no time."

"Tell him thank you for me, will you? I am leaving Vigil's Keep tomorrow morning, now that this is all settled."

"You are?"

"Yes. I intend on returning to my family north of here. There is nothing left for me here, and the Commander has offered to help me get there financially."

Nathaniel sighed. "I will be sad to see you go. I have enjoyed getting to know you. But if this is the best for you, then good luck."

"I think it is. But I have been told I can always find a home here, should I wish it, and maybe one day I will."

"I wish you luck, Aura."

"You as well, Nathaniel."

Neither of them, nor anyone else, saw that Anders stood at the back of the crowd, wrapped in a cloak, dressed and packed for travel on the road. "We are done here, Justice. We are needed elsewhere." There was a sharp feeling of agreement that caused him to wince. "We need to work on this, and we cannot do it at the Keep. The Commander may support what we have done, but the First Warden will not. Staying here puts them all at danger." Another sense of agreement. "Then we are off." Takings one last look at his home and friends from the last year, Anders sighed heavily before moving on. He didn't notice Aura turning her head just as he left, confusion on her face.


End file.
